Kids can smell food/snacks/treats/candy from miles and miles away. Have you ever noticed that? They are worse than vultures, seagulls, rats or racoons. They are the worst scavengers known to mankind. I used to treat myself to a bowl of ice cream at the end of the day. When the older two were a little younger and safely tucked away in their beds and off to DreamyLand my husband and I would indulge in our daily treat. A nice bowl/cup/mug of ice cream. It didn’t matter how it was served, nor particularly the flavor — though I certainly have my favorites. What mattered was that this was the one thing we could eat quietly, peacefully sans children. And that made our treats that much more delectable! While my husband prefers those with nuts, and flavors like Spumoni, Banana Split and Neopolitan and a very specific Rocky Road, I have my own set of flavors. I am an Edy’s fanatic (Dreyer’s for you all over on the other side of the country) and I can be found salivating in front of the freezer section of our grocery stores… rows and rows with flavors like Mint Chocolate Chip, Ice Cream Sandwich, Mocha Chocolate Chip, Butterfinger… I could go on and on. A great day for me is when there is a sale and I can buy one and get the other for free! But sadly the days of late night ice cream are over. My youngest gets me up with the birds. At 5 am I hear his cry and I, the mother bird, must fetch his worm, or in his case his milk — but I don’t doubt he’d eat that worm!
At 5 am I drag myself out of bed to retrieve him from his crib. I have tried desperately to create an oasis there for him, filling it with his Bunny and favorite books. But neither Bunny nor the books are a match for Mama Bird and her Worm. I clutch Alexander in one arm and with my free hand clutch the railing for dear life, certain that if I let go we will all go tumbling down and break our crowns. (Did I feel like this when Rebecca and Christopher were this little? Oh age is not the kind one at all.)
Mother Bird gets her Baby Bird his cup of milk and they nuzzle together on the couch for a while… and then chaos breaks and the day comes at me full force until the kids are sent up to bed (the older two) at 9 or 9:30 as it’s summertime and I follow, barely dragging my ragged, tired old self behind them. The day is long and the day is over and in just 8 hours a new one will begin… oh joy (said with a great deal of sarcasm).
This is how I got my secret pockets. I still crave something sweet. Usually at the 3 or 4 o’clock mark when there are miles to go before I sleep, miles to go before I sleep. Sometimes a cup of coffee or a nice tall glass of ice coffee give me a little perk. Sometimes I need more. M&Ms are my all time favorites. You can have a few or you can have the whole damn bag (and then feel damn sick afterwards) and they can be hidden perfectly in your pocket! A handful in the pocket of a shirt or a skirt, placed strategically, popped in to the mouth even more strategically, is just what a(n exhausted) girl needs. Half the fun is outsmarting the kids you know! Sneaking something they too crave and covet. I love how the little pieces of candy melt perfectly and instantly calmness is bestowed upon me. Has something to do with seratonin, right?
Then, the other day the most tragical (I know that’s not a word!) thing happend. Alexander caught me… He knew exactly what I was doing. He walked over to me, held out his little chubby hand and said “want one.” Without hesitation he then asked “Please?” What’s a mother do to? I got caught up in the moment. I surely could have denied there was anything in my skirt pocket, but I was delighted that one of my offspring could be ever so charmingly polite! In a weak moment, I retrieved a little red chocolate m and offered it to him.