I need a Home Office

All of my answers would come true if I had a Home Office. My children’s Father has one and because he does he gets out of everything. In the morning he wakes up and watches a little news, has a cup of coffee and then goes up to “work” in the Office. The Office is a convenient hiding place. So if he’s around and the kids need to be dressed or fed in the morning the Office is just the place for him. I would love to be able to bathe every morning, but I can’t because He has to be in the Office. I would love help tidying up downstairs, but much more important things await in the Office.

Every morning Alexander greets me with a scream from his crib. His screams don’t stop until I collect him. I have tried letting him CIO (cry it out) or just letting him play, but that doesn’t work. Once he’s up he’s up and I have to get him. I am a morning person, but honestly 5 am is practically the middle of the night, and depending on the season it is. (I can’t stand to hear someone complain that they had to get up at 6 or 6:30… woe is me. What I would give to be able to sleep in until 6 or 6:30!)

After I get Alexander from his crib I get myself a cup of coffee and Alexander gets his milk. It is a good morning if we can snuggle together for a little while. But most mornings he is off looking for plugs and outlets and everything else potentially fatal. How I wish I could say “I have to go into my Office now!” Instead, I have to chase after him and replace all the outlet covers he can manage to take out although no one else over 30 can. Or I have to pull him away from light switches and doors and drawers (even those with the impossible-to-undo child locks). By 7am I have clearly put in a full day’s work… and the day hasn’t even begun yet. It would be delightful to go hide away in my Office and pretend none of my children existed for a few minutes… It would be equally as nice to have Alexander be a a TV Junkie… a little Sesame Street or some adorably cute show on Noggin… Heck, I’d even be happy with Oobie or some Teletubbies. But not as happy as I’d be if I had an Office.

By 8:30 the kids are ready for school or camp (depending on the season). They are dressed, fed, brushed (hair and teeth) and, if needed, they have their lunches. The kitchen is cleaned… the sink emptied unless I have run the dishwasher and the dishwasher has been emptied if it was full. Somehow I have manged to brush my hair and teeth and get myself dressed too. This can be a long and daunting process in the morning as there is usually some sort of bickering or disappointment which can delay even the putting on of socks by up to a half hour.

If I had my Office I would hide in it and the kids would have to fend for themselves…

At the end of the afternoon I have to deal (lucky me) with tired whiny children who want to watch TV (hide if your are nearby and I have said No!) or who want a snack… WW3 ensues when I tell them it must be healthy and it must be fruit, fruit, fuit or fruit. When they really start whining I offer yogurt which makes the fruit seem as delectable as the ooiest gooiest chocolate cake! In such cases it is good that I do not have my Office… I just love it when I win an occasional battle!

The next couple of hours are mayhem… and that is putting it mildly. The children’s father comes home from work and he has to change an then, you guessed it, go in to the Office! I would really like to know what goes on up there in the Office. Sure, he works sometimes. But he is conveniently keeping busy to avoid a tired hungry baby… tired hungry kids who are arguing about something and not letting me get dinner ready and arguing about who gets to help put toys away and clean up. The only motivating factor is money. They will do almost anything for a green Jackson… even a Washington. I can’t let money be their motivator, can I? I would be broke? Even if I had milions they would suck me dry. Then I would not be needing their help because we would have no food for them to eat.

So dinner is finally ready to be served –or heck, even ordered, if it’s been a truly long day — and conveniently all the work in the Office is done. Imagine that! The Office won’t be required again until around 7:30 or so the following morning… for the children’s Father that is!

I would still be using my Office. I would hide in it until the kids were safely tucked in and asleep. I would not have to deal with putting the baby to bed, gettig the older two to brush their teeth and put on their pajamas and take their allergy medicines. I would not have to deal with the whining and the tears that come with telling them they have to do their reading… or that the TV has to be turned off.

If I had my Office I would head to “work” at 5 am every morning and “work” until 9 or 9:30 every night. Imagine how well rested I would be if I had My Office!

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