WARNING: Toothfairies should Compare Notes!

I had to have known that this was going to happen. Kids are nosy. Kids are curious. They are always jealous of what their friends have or else try to one-up them. Rebecca was in Kindergarten when she lost her first tooth. She was the first and, at that point, the only kid in the class who had lost a tooth. The Toothfairy came in the middle of the night and deposited $2.00 under her pink floral pillow… not bad since I got a Quarter when I was a kid. Several more teeth go and several more dollar bills find themselves under Rebecca’s pillow. Her tooth losses were always so dramatic… “Moooo-ooom,” she’d say, “I can’t eat an apple now. My tooth ith looth.” Apparently her loose teeth couldn’t go near anything cruchy — translation, healthy. Funny then, for her to lose one while eating apple sauce and another in a pancake and another in a bagel. Her stories are equally as dramatic. One fell out at camp, while swimming in the pool. And one fell out at school, in gym class when Victoria crashed into her. I wonder whether that crash was accidental or deliberate. It doesn’t matter as it makes for a good story. Rebecca likes to tell a good story.

The toothfairy hasn’t shown up in a while. I couldn’t remember if the Toothfairy gave a little something special for the first tooth or not. Rebecca assured me that she did not. Each and every tooth got $2. I still don’t think that is right.

So yesterday Christopher comes running out of the school directly past me asking if he can go to the playground. “Sure,” I tell him as I always do. But I notice his mouth looks funny so I ask him to come back and open up, and there is a big red gap where a teeny tiny little white tooth stood just that morning. I’m getting all teary-eyed and verklempt. “Did you lose your tooth?” I ask all motherly-sad because another baby is growing up. “Oh yeah,” he says and takes off again. What kind of a comment is that?

So that night the Toothfairy comes and deposits $2 under his pillow after she catches his note:
Dear Toothfairy,
Please do not take my tooth. I will miss it if you do.
Love, Christopher

Turns out he does not want the Toothfairy to take any of his teeth. Also turns out he yanked it out in the classroom. No drama there!

Today Rebecca announces to me that the Toothfairy gives her friends different money. Grace gets $5 and someone else gets $10. “Why, do they get more Mommy. That’s not right!” I really want to blurt out that their Toothfairies are richer and that isn’t fair either. But I can’t. I can’t let my Dreamer Girl believe that there are millions of Toothfairies all over the world, even if there are. But what all these Toothfairies should do is unite once or twice a year and have a meeting. They should all plan what the going rate of the year will be. Every one will be in accordance. There will be no more hesitating, guessing or wondering. Like our interest rates today, the going tooth rates will continue to rise. Everyone will agree on on a set rate — a prix fixe, if you will. Then, just in case there is even a tiny doubt, every Toothfairy will get a confirmation on her Blackberry. Unless of course you are like me and haven’t quite advanced to that stage yet, copies will also be sent to home email adresses. There should never be a question as to why Dick gets $5 for his tooth while Jane only gets $2. (Especially because Jane’s story will likely be so much more detailed, interesting and dramatic than Dicks!)

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3 thoughts on “WARNING: Toothfairies should Compare Notes!

  1. I’m thinking I’m going to by-pass the whole tooth fairy thing. The boys here get 5 bucks, because that’s what their mom started with. We always hope they’ll just lose them at her house, since she started it, but once we had a tooth gone 2 weekends in a row!

  2. I’m thinking I’m going to by-pass the whole tooth fairy thing. The boys here get 5 bucks, because that’s what their mom started with. We always hope they’ll just lose them at her house, since she started it, but once we had a tooth gone 2 weekends in a row!

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