Red Crayola Crayons + Whites in the Dryer = Bad Mix!

It was bound to happen at some point. After 8.75 years of parenting to 3.5 children (I never did get that .5 thing unless they were including husbands) it was bound to happen. I just have no idea how on earth it did happen.

Honestly, I wash about 12 loads of laundry a week, give or take a few. The washer and dryer never stop. Of those 12-give-or-take loads, maybe one is mine. Yesterday I happened to be washing a few of my things. A few white towels, my favorite Banana Republic T-Shirts, a pair of off white linen shorts and some white underwear… and a pair of Alexander’s plaid shorts?!!!

I reached in to the dryer when the buzzer had gone off to a sea of pink… not white, not red, but pink. My first reaction was that I had left something red in the dryer or in the washer, but then I saw the streaks, stripes, spots and splotches. Bright red. Bright red streaks, stripes, spots and splotches all over EVERYTHING! A few of the white towels were toss-able. But not my shorts! Not my favorite Banana Republic T-shirts (and they are not cheap!) and not my white underwear!!!! I don’t have many pairs of white underwear. I find them bland and boring, like many people consider vanilla ice cream to be. But white underwear, like vanilla ice cream, is an absolutely essential must-have item. One can not wear a pattern or a bold color under light or white pants or shorts. White underwear makes a perfect partner… it can be likened to vanilla ice cream and a nice warm apple pie. You need one if you are going to have the other.

Well, thanks to the Red Crayola I can no longer wear white underwear and no longer wear white pants or shirts. I can no longer wear my white T-Shirts either. The timing, my friends, is bad… very bad… You see, according to Vogue and all the top fashion magazines white is the new black. What a shame as I have so much black. But I would hate to walk out of the house in all black and be accused of wearing last year’s fashions!

I have been to the Crayola Website… I have looked at their suggestions which range from soaking items in WD-40, which, by the way is extremely flammable. Gee, I think I will stand in front of our gas dryer while my WD-40 infused clothes set out for a spin! I have seen the bleach thing, and the soaking everything in detergent solution… someone even told me to iron a candle over the spots… I said “Honey, my clothes have more spots on them than Texas has cowboys. That ain’t gonna work.” I told her so in a slow, Southern drawl too. There are also red streaks, stripes, spots and splotches all over the barrel of the dryer. If anyone has any real solutions I would love to hear them, otherwise I am off to the hardware store to get a bottle of Red RIT clothing dye!

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