Christopher is not the artist in the family. That’s OK, because he doesn’t claim to be. It is very rare that he will sit down at the table with his sister and draw, or paint or do whatever creative thing she is doing. But sometimes he does. And when he does he amazes us. He knows when he has done something well too, as we all do when we succeed at something. Lately, when he is pleased with himself, he will show off his masterpiece and ask us if we would like it. This is where the businessman side of him comes out. He’s always out to get a buck. So yesterday, after being mighty pleased with his artistic project he offered it to his Dad for a buck. It was so good that his father gave him an entire dollar. (Sometimes we have to negotiate the price down a little to fifty cents, a quater, even a dime.) But yesterday Dad agreed to pay top dollar. Christopher took his money and immediately turned around to me to ask where his Unicef box was. He then told me there were people in the world who needed the money more than he did. A businessman turned philanthropist. I finally did something right!
On the way to the grocery store, after gymnastics, this morning Alexander shouted out “Mommy, the moon is broken!” This was followed immediately by a panicked “Fix it, Mommy!” I looked out the window to see a half moon.
The other day Don was trying to teach Alexander our proper names. He explained that we had real names too, just like Becca and Christopher and that we are only Mommy and Daddy to three little people. Everyone else calls us by our given names. He had fun trying to say my name which came out something like Jekkikka, not too far off. Well he thought his father’s name was hilarious. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Really, my name is really Donald” he said. To which my very smart two year old broke out in to song singing “EEE-I-EEE-I-O!”
You can’t imagine how relieved I was that he didn’t start asking for fries and chup-chup!
Alexander and I were arguing because I wouldn’t let him have some more brownies. I kept giving him valid reasons but he wasn’t buying into any of them. (Yes, I have sunken to that all-time low that I now argue with 2 year olds!) Finally, tired and exasperated I threw up my arms and said in a desperate and firm voice “Because!”
He stood there with his big brown eyes and finished my sentence for me. “You said so?”
I wonder how often I say that!
My baby jogger broke. I love my baby jogger. I love everything about it. I hadn’t used it in a couple of months and it was folded up in the shed waiting for a sunny day. Well, that sunny day finally came and I took Alexander for a nice long walk last week. He loved it. I loved it and it felt great to get up and moving. I hadn’t been taking him for walks in the morning because it was messing up his nap schedule and if you know me at all you know that nothing comes between me and Alexander’s naps. It turned out that he stayed up, awake and alert for the entire hour he was being pushed. I was thrilled. And then on Saturday I was taking the stroller out of the car and I noticed that it would not lock in to place. When I looked more closely I saw that the plastic safety latch had snapped in half. No walks for us… for a while. Yes I have another stroller. I have two, in fact. But we live in such a hilly, rocky, bumpy area that the other two simply do not work on this terrain. So now, when I want it most, I have no jogger. This always happens to me you know?
As soon as Alexander wakes from his nap I will call the company which is based out of Yakima, Washington and tell them of my situation. I would love to do it now but I know that the sound of my voice would disrupt this precious sleep… not even a brand new jogger is worth that!
We had the local (very local) news on about an hour ago and the newscasters were telling us that the man who had recently robbed W bank was wanted by the FBI for several hold ups since February. They posted a description of the wanted man — a description that sounds an awful lot like Don! A white man of medium build, about 5’10”, dark hair in his late 30s to early 40s. Christopher’s listening intently as I comment that this robber sounds a lot like Daddy! We are then told that this man was driving a black truck with license numbers 123-xyz… The robbery took place at 11:00 am on Saturday. Christoher turns around and in all seriousness asked “What was Daddy doing Saturday at 11:00 in the morning?” I nearly lost it… Then as his little brain started to process all the information he turned around again and exclaimed “Wait! Daddy’s not white!” With that I really did lose it!
I sat down to check my emails early on Thursday afternoon and noticed one from the school informing us that classes would be canceled on Friday due to a gas leak that was discovered that morning and in need of immediate repair. Most parents might express concern or worry and first think about the safety of their children. We all know that I am not most parents. Instead, I broke out into a cold sweat. What the hell was I going to do with the kids all home one more day than absolutely necessary? My next thought was to remedy the situation.
While visions of fighting danced through my head
I knew that with no plan I would not get to bed.
In my mind I imagined all the things we could do…
Children’s museums, movies, aquariums too…
Those thoughts were no better, not an answer you see
I have just two arms, but kids — I have three.
Rebecca wants here, and Owie wants there
Christopher whining “It’s just not fair!”
I have no more patience — it’s way beyond thin
I need an answer that’s a win-win-win!
What will they all like? What can they all do?
Something good for all of my kids ages 8 through 2?
And then, like a dream, it came to me!
A situation ideal for all three…
I picked up the phone and a few calls I did make
My answer as sweet as a big Birthday Cake!
My kids may make fun — they may call me old
But with this aging brain I believe I struck gold!
Over at school a few moms I did see
I told them of my plan
And with it they did agree!
Without much effort a plan was made
We now had enough kids to start a parade!
I called Don, and he muttered “Oh Jeeesus!”
When I told him the plan was to go to Chuck E. Cheeses!
The kids and the moms really did have fun
And for one shining moment, I was Best, second to none!
We have been collecting quite the specimen of animals, er — perhaps I should say creatures — over the past couple of weeks. First we got Mander, a little salamander the kids found in a stream at a friend’s house this summer. We put him in a box with some water and let him climb up on the rocks. Well he is still alive and kicking and the happiest little salamader I ever did see. He eats dried bloodworms purchased from the pet store. I kid you not. He lives next to a large tank that is home to two small fish, one a black Tetra (or was it a Tiger Tetra?) and a Candy Cane Tetra. They get along swimmingly (oh that is a good one!). A couple of weeks ago we came home with a larger tropical fish that swims in a bowl all by her lonesome. There are a few large, blue, glass egg shaped rocks on the bottom of the bowl. She (I have no idea what sex it is) looks beautiful in there. She has a large belly and sometimes I think she is dead because it looks like she is on her side or upside-down and really she is just fat. Her weight is in her belly — takes after the Gordon side of the family. We now have another addition to the family. His name is Wooly. He is a Wooly Bear caterpillar and is the cutest wooly bear caterpillar you ever saw! So, when Rebecca saw him on the soccer field last weekend (after screaming because she had no idea what the big fuzzy, scary creature was) we decided it too had to come home with us. Wooly lives next to the smaller fish and Mander on the counter. He has his own container with fresh lettuce and carrots. He seems very happy. These creatures won’t die of loneliness or boredom… that’s for sure! As soon as Wooly starts to develop a crysalis we will set him outside — we are still in the 70s here so I am not too worried about frost just yet. Woolies, while cute as can be turn into moths. I have never met one that I have liked. And a moth named Wooly will not be allowed to reside in a house with cashmere.
We had a worrisome little incident the other day which involved our fish. Our fish of Many Names — Flip, Shish and Swimmy. I will call her Fish. She started to not swim as much and Don said it was because her cage, er I mean bowl was too small and fish need to swim and Fish was no exception. I would keep popping in to check on her. She’d be chillin’, floating around until she saw me and then, as though to say “Hey Mom, I’m OK, really I am” she would start swimming again. Until she didn’t. I noticed yesterday that she was lying in the bowl upside down. I kept checking to see if she was alive and she was. I was worried that she was in pain, and I have to admit that I had thought about sending her to the great graveyard in the ground, but I never did. Good thing because I guess last night my resident Fish Expert decided to Google her symptoms. He added a little sea salt to her bowl and some peas. Yep, peas! It turns out that,well, fish like humans can get a little backed up from time to time! Whooda thunk! My resident Fish Expert saved the day and saved our Fish!