Two Year Olds Say the Darndest things (on line at the grocery store)

As we approach the one checkout line less than a mile long Alexander shouts out “It’s Party Time!” Shoppers smile at this. Then Alexander tells me all about his party.
“My party is at the playground, Mommy. I am going to have balloons there. I am going to slide. I am going to swing. I am going to drink juice with asaw (a straw). Mommy, I want so (soda).” I tell him he is not getting soda. “Why Mommy?” I tell him it is not good for little children. “Why Mommy?” I tell him it has too much sugar. This seems an impossible thought. “Too much sugga?” He asks as though I had made a mistake. I tell him yes, too much sugar — bad for the belly and the teeth.. “Why?” I tell him the sugar will get him a belly ache. Another “Why?” This goes on for a few more rounds and when I get bored and can not take it anymore I say “Because I said so!” to which he replies. “Oh, Okay Mommy!”

We talk a bit more about the party. At this point I have found a nice spot on line. Alexander tells me that he wants a cake and songs. I ask him what songs and he breaks out in to Happy Birthday, which was pretty damn cute if I can say so myself!

“Mommy, I want those!” Alexander says pointing to some tic tacs. I give in knowing that it is too close to nap time and if fifty-nine cents will avoid a tantrum so be it. I give him the box of orange tic tacs, take one out and give it to him. He takes the little box and chants “Shake Shake Shake” a few times. The box mimics a maraca, and I am shaking along with him, when all of a sudden there is an “Oh Oh Mommy!” with little orange tic tacs all over the place. I bend down to pick them up but the lady standing behind me beats me to it and I thank her. As we move toward the conveyor belt I start unloading some items. Alexander starts to unload the candy shelf. I manage to put everything back on the shelf kinda-sorta where they belonged, but as I turn my back he has managed to grab a pack of Rolos. He took a chunk right out of it. I guess the gold foil wasn’t too tasty, as he spit it out, but continued with the chocolate covered caramel. I had no idea he had done this — he was that fast! — until I heard a “MMmmm goot!” I grab a wipe from my bag and clean Alexander’s face off… at this point stuff is all getting bagged and I am getting ready to pay and Alexander has now made a friend.

He is smiling at the older, gray-haired person who is packaging my bags. As we leave he waves good-bye to the baggage person and says “Good-bye Daddy!” as clear as a window in a Windex commercial. I chuckle because Alexander’s daddy isn’t grey… yet! And then as I am passing by I noticed that this “Daddy” had a name tag which clearly said Gloria.


4 thoughts on “Two Year Olds Say the Darndest things (on line at the grocery store)

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