We have the offer and I should be jumping over the moon. The old me would have been. The new me is remaining cautiously optimistic. I have been on this earth far too long to to expect this to go off without a hitch! The old me would have had the next house all landscaped and decorated by now. The new me knows that anything can go wrong at the drop of a hat. Our prospective buyers may not get a buyer for themselves or they may decide that there are too many doorways and the carpets have gone a shade too gray. Anything can go wrong. So when did Pollyanna’s glasses turn from a rosy shade to such a foggy state? I don’t know. I do know that we have been waiting for this for a very long time, that finally things seem to be falling in to place. But I also know that for the past few years every time we have had a few steps forward there have been as many steps back. Perhaps it is all part of growing up. Perhaps I am finally growing up… perhaps I have been knocked over one too many times. Just as rejection sucks, setting your sights on something bigger and better does too when that sight seems so attainable… it’s like standing on a chair and reaching for the stars and you can just….. about…. touch…. one and then suddenlythechairtopples and
down you go. Sometimes you hurt, but for the most part
it’s just a bruise to the ego. Not that that doesn’t hurt as well.
So while I am still here, instead of dwelling on the negative — Alexander’s bedroom (a walk-through really) located just outside the kid’s bathroom so that he wakes every time someone gets up to pee… or the damned seventh step that squeaks so loudly so that he wakes up making it virtually impossible to sneak down and have a quiet cup of coffee before he wakes up… — I will focus on the positives like my light periwinkle bedroom with cathedral ceilings and sky light. I always slow down a few speeds as soon as I enter my little paradise. And Alexander’s room. Despite it’s location it has a window that looks out in to the trees and onto the street below. I feel like I am in a little tree house when I am in there. I have, literally, a birds eye view of the world from his room. I sit Alexander in my lap and we rock together on the rocking chair as we sing lullabies to sleep. Alexander and me, together in the tree house…