I lost my glasses. Again. This time it’s for real. Okay, I know I lose them daily. Okay, several times a day. Oh, Okay hourly… but this time I really lost them. It sucks and I am miserable. I think Alexander took them. I am pretty sure that Alexander took them. I am almost certain that Alexander took them. I can say with confidence that I am 99% certain that Alexander took them. Darling Husband says I need an old lady chain. I need more than that. I need my glasses stapled to my head. I take them off constantly. You see, I do not need them for anything other than watching TV or driving or going to the movies (but that never happens anymore) and when I don’t need them I don’t wear them. I take them off and put them down. It doesn’t help that I have ADD. It doesn’t help that I have ADD and three kids always distracting me so that I lose focus. What was I talking about? Oh yeah, my damned glasses… so I took them off this morning and put them on my bedside table so that I could take a shower. After I was cleaned and dressed I went downstairs to get the kids their breakfasts. (I didn’t need my glasses to toss a few slices of French bread on to the grill for toast.) Alexander came running down the stairs with his (grubby) little paws all over my glasses. I thanked him for bringing them to me but told them he knew better than to take my glasses and touch my things. I put them on the table in the foyer. Thanks to my ADD, blindness and three kids going in three different directions I forgot to take my glasses with me when I went to school this morning. I did not know that I didn’t have them until we were in assembly and I realized that I could not see. At that point I searched my bag and was all mad at myself because I had forgotten my glasses. (Yes, Don, I know Don… had I had an old lady chain the glasses would have been around my neck.)
Many hours and many more distractions later we went home and my glasses were not where I left them. Gone. My glasses were gone. I looked high. I looked low. And every place in between. I looked in the obvious places and the not obvious places. So I asked Alexander where my glasses were and he told me they were in Christopher’s room. I went up and searched a few hundred thousand times and did not see them. I asked him if he had touched my glasses. He did not say no. He did not say yes. He said nothing with big sad eyes. He had guilt written across his forehead. In indelible ink. He lost his Blue’s Clue’s privileges on TV. (This is HUGE people.) He did not cry. He did not flinch. He did not tell me where my glasses were. He did tell me that he would be a good boy tomorrow. This is good but I will have to see it to believe it and without my glasses I am afraid I will not see much. The above picture is them. They are greatly discounted now. Of course, if I have to get new ones I will get something different. But we are not going there. We are going to find my glasses, right?