The day I have been waiting for…
For nearly three years I have been waiting for Alexander to go to school. Not so much to get him out of the house, but to experience this wonderful preschool teacher that Rebecca and Christopher were so blessed to have had. During that year they learned more than I deemed possible. They studied about the earth and environment… recycling. They studied the masters of great modern art from Calder to O’Keefe, from Monet to Van Gogh, From Warhol to Matisse. And they learned about the various mediums and colors and techniques and styles. Bring my children to a museum and you will be amazed by what they will rattle off. This preschool teacher teaches through play. And play they do… and hard! I cried each time a child of mine graduated from her class. And then nearly 3 years ago came Alexander. And one of my first thoughts was how utterly excited I was that he would have Mrs. Shannon. The days, weeks, months and the years passed. And that day that we have waited, for what seemed like an eternity for, came — suddenly and quickly, today. And so today my “baby” was no longer my baby. My baby became my preschooler.
I worried about him crying and I worried about him missing me. What I did not take into consideration were my feelings. How would I feel without my sidekick? What would fill that void? Who would tug at my skirt and in a sweet, high pitched little voice who would call me “Mommy?”
I didn’t sleep so well last night. I worried, mostly, about Alexander. Would he be OK? Would he miss me? Was I doing the right thing since technically he is not even 3 yet.
We brought him to school and even Rebecca and Christopher stopped by to say hello — I thought it so sweet of their teachers to allow them to take a minute with their baby brother… We lingered for a couple of moments and then as the mothers started to say their farewells I thought we should too. He was fine. Not fine. He was perfect. I got my kiss and he told me he would see me later. I, on the other hand, was not fine. The last of my children was leaving me — albeit for a few hours. The last of my babies was growing up. How did this happen all so suddenly?
I, we, had an amazing summer. We did everything we wanted to. We had fun and laughter. We went on trips. We went to the beach. We went to the Lake and the Sprinkler park. We stayed up late. We played with water and sprinklers and pools and hoses and water guns. We caught fireflies and toads. We roasted marshmallows. We had ice cream and lemonade on hot summer days. We had lazy days and we had crazy days. My goal for this summer was to create a summer full of memories. I think I achieved that goal. And now summer is over. Just like that. We’ll have to wait another 9 months for those carefree never ending days. It’s funny, I mark the passing of time not so much by my children’s Birthdays, but more by the passing and starting of each school year. So here we are entering another year. I now have a 4th grader, a 2nd grader and a Preschooler. There are books this year. Heavier and thicker. There is more homework. For my older two there will be a few tough moments, I am sure, socially and academically. For my younger one it will be a year of tremendous growth. Leaps and bounds. And for me… I will have to adjust and learn to love my time alone. I will get my projects done in peace and quiet and without disruption — well, without the disruption of little ones. I will come to truly appreciate the time I have to myself… Ironic, isn’t it, just how I needed to get away from the children this summer and now that this is possible I want them back by my side?