Stop the world… I want to get off!

It’s what I want to do right now. It is also the name of a musical from which I had to sing when I was in music class in elementary school. Mrs. Seuter loved show tunes. I did too, actually. But she didn’t love me. I was cast as an Alto and all of her beloved Sopranos got the best solos and musical roles. That’s OK. I know I can’t carry a tune very well. Ok, at all. Blame it on genetics.
I remember singing — Ok, shouting — at the top of my lungs, songs from various Broadway musicals. I loved Annie. That was a favorite for many, many years. The first time I saw it (there were many) Andrea McCardle had the lead role. The third time I saw it Sarah Jessica Parker (Yes, the same one of Square Pegs and Sex in the City fame) played the role of Annie. I tried to belt out the songs like they did. I remember standing in my room, in the center or my (lime green shag rug) stage singing You’re Never Fully Dressed without a Smile, Tomorrow, and Maybe. I had my Original Cast recording on my record player. I played that record over and over and over again. It’s probably at my parents’ house still with their original Frank Sinatras (my grandmother’s) and their original Beetles collection… with my J Geils (Freeze Frame) and my Greatest American Hero 45s! When I outgrew Annie I still stood on that lime green shag stage belting out all the songs from Fame, and Flashdance. My stick-straight hair couldn’t quite keep up with the big styles of the 80s… I cut all my sweatshirts and thought I was as sexy as Jennifer Beals… My friends would pass me by in the school hallways singing “I wish that I was Jessie’s Girl!” They thought they were soooo funny.

Those were the days! The good ol‘ days.

I haven’t been here in a few days not because I am ignoring you all… not because I have jetted off to some fantabulous island in Indonesia but because I have been busy. Too busy. Way too busy for my own damned good. Dizzying busy. It’s not the taking the kids to school and schlepping them from this activity and that activity and this play date and that play date kind of busy… but it’s the volunteer work busy. It’s the organizing and planning the school’s parents association wine tasting busy, and heading up the wrapping paper fundraiser busy and volunteering for the school book fair busy and overseeing the 4th and 5th grade social busy. Not to mention weekend plans and having people over for dinner busy. Last night Don and I were sitting in the family room talking about this and that when it suddenly hit us that the lease on my van is up in 3 weeks. Three weeks!

How did this happen? So now somehow, amongst all this craziness, I have to go car shopping. It’s so confusing and so complicated. There is so much out there, perhaps even too much. But there is not a whole heck of a lot I like, truth be told. I am a snob with a beggar’s budget at this point. I looked at the Audi Q7. That car is a Beeeooot! I would have driven off the lot with it in a New York Minute. But it’s a tad bit too small. Sure I could squish three across the second row and a couple more in the back, but Rebecca gets car sick — terribly car sick — and I imagined her there squished in the second row next to her brothers, or in the back row feeling a bit green under the gills. As stylishly me as that car is I have to put my kid’s well-being before my materialistic and shallow desires. Sigh… And due purely to size I can now rule out the new Acura MDX and the Volvo XC90. Bummer. Bummer. Bummer. So what is there left to drive? Not much. The Escalade is a dream in a Pimp My Ride Kind of a way but just too big for me. Same with the Suburban. And the Sequoia. I don’t like the way Fords drive. I love me a Mercedes, but that’s a bit too much to handle at the moment. The Lincoln Navigator is too big too. And yet I need to be able to sit 7 people in my car. (That allows 1 friend per child, plus me.) The Armada is out of the game on name alone. Sounds too much like Armadillo. Or Amarillo. Or Armageddon. I loved, loved loved the Land Cruiser. But Toyota had to go ahead and completely ruin the body style. I do not like (for me) the Tahoe, Trailblazer, Denali and Yukon. I do not like the Arcadia. I do not like the Pathfinder. Highlander and Pilot are too small. See where I am going with this? And no, I am NOT getting another van, though, as van’s go my Sienna was rockin’ and stylish with her leather and wood trim and had more bells and whistles than Santa’s sled at Christmastime. For a van the Sienna is hot. But I didn’t say that. You heard no such thing from me. I have three weeks to find a car. While schlepping kids and doing all that other stuff. And I am losing my head. I am losing my mind.

And suddenly we are halfway through October and I still haven’t found a painter — Good Lord No! I am not going to try to do that myself now too! My living room and dining rooms are in dire need for a make-over. And we need furniture. And Christmas is coming. Oh Christmas! I am so not ready to go there yet! I am barely ready for Halloween as we await Rebecca’s Padme (Star Wars character) costume. Christopher’s Darth Vader is, admittedly, pretty cool and Alexander looks adorable as a firefighter. I still have to buy the candy. But I do this a day or two ahead. I don’t want it in the house. We can never keep our grubby paws off the stuff! I haven’t really decorated this year. We’re that lame Halloween House. Maybe I’ll get a white sheet and cut a bunch of holes in it. We’ll hang it on a tree in the front and people will think that Charlie Brown stopped by. But he didn’t stay either as we were too lame even for him. Well, we’ll just have to be that way this year.

There’s just too much to do and I can’t keep on top of it. I need to try to stop and take a break. I need to step onto Rebecca’s hot pink flokati (Pottery Barn) stage and stand in front of her mirror and grab her mike and sing. I’ll not sing to Miley or the Jonases… I’ll not sing to Coldplay or Maroon 5 or Five for Fighting or John Mayer. I’ll sing to the Police. I’ll sing Roxanne. Loud and out of tune. I’ll sing to Springteen. I’ll sing Rosalita. I may even jump a little higher. I’ll belt out a tune or two by Billy Joel. And Queen. And Abba. And I won’t stop until I have sung every single Go-Gos song! We got the beat! And then, and only then, I may just pass the microphone off to Mandy and join her in a Milli-Vanilli duet.

Since, this will never happen, I might tell you instead, to roll up your car window if you happen to be passing through southwestern Connecticut tomorrow. And if you see a light blue Toyota Sienna with a cute blond chick in the driver’s seat you may just want to turn your own radio or DVD or iPod tunes up, way up. And that sound that sounds an awful lot like a dying cow… is… not… me! I will be singing. I may be singing The Itsy Bitsy Spider. or 100 Years. And maybe I’ll throw a few show tunes in for good measure!

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14 thoughts on “Stop the world… I want to get off!

  1. As a person who get car sick and has 3 kids that also suffer from this terrible plight, I understand. M is the worst and has dibs on the one free captain’s chair next to the window. E has the other captain’s chair because he is a demanding pita when I’m driving. O suffers the least and is in the third row and she now gets sick if I put her in the middle row (weird)

    You may want to reconsider the Minivan because any SUV you choose will possibly invoke car sickness in R due to their higher center of gravity.

    That said, here are my suggestions:

    Lexus LX470

    Mazda X9

    Buick Enclave- has the seating of a minivan w/the look of and SUV!

    Good luck on your search! 🙂

  2. With your combination singing and multi-vehicle needs you should consider that brightly coloured schoolbus we’ve talked about…

    I love my off-tune, bad singing friends. I’m an Annie lover too. Annie and Cats. I know every word to every song in those two.

  3. Dori,
    The Lexus is toooo much $$$ however, it’s smaller sibling, the GX might be doable as a pre-owned… and the Buick is actually something I would consider… I just need to get over the fact that Buicks are such a “grandparent” car! LOL

  4. Ah Yes…. Kimmy!
    My school bus with painted on birds… and we will start our own band — it’ll be a really band… But Don and Owie can sing!

  5. I was wondering where you wandered off to! You are too busy, WAY TOO busy!
    I hope you find a car you like. And, speaking as another horribly motion sick person- stay away from the Lexus SUVs! I’m sure they are great to drive, but gliding over every bump as if on water is NOT a good thing for the tummy!

  6. I am singing along with you my friend! A blast from the past remembering all those songs. Good luck car hunting.

  7. Girl, you know it’s true (couldn’t resist)! I’ll take that microphone and belt away! The only question would be which ultra-cool Milli Vanilli song to sing. I’m thinking…it’s a Blame it on the Rain day. How ’bout you?

    Thanks for the name drop! 🙂

  8. Mandy,

    That’s cause no one will ever admit to liking MV nevermind be caught dead singing it with me!

  9. Oh my goodness–ANNIE–my all-time favorite soundtrack! I had the wig, and all, and I belted out “Tomorrow” like there was no, tomorrow! 😉 Love your posts, Jess–totally make my day! 😉

  10. Margaret,
    Isn’t that the Armadillo’s Infinity cousin?! I am trying to steer away from somehting so large. Looked at the new Sequoia. Blech it is fugly! Went over to the Lexus dealership where a preowned GX and LX were on the lot. Bootylicious! We’ll see what happens next!

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