I’ve been 10 pounds over my pre pregnancy weight for 3 years now. I keep waiting for it to just melt away, but I think I should start giving up hope. I mean, it’s a little like Linus and The Great Pumpkin. He keeps waiting and waiting and waiting. He’s been waiting for about 40 years I think. We all know that the Great Pumpkin is not going to show up but Linus isn’t giving up so easily. I suppose that’s how it is with my Muffin Top, Michelin Tire, middle age spread. If it was just going to melt away I am pretty certain it would have done so by now. Of course all those goodies that come out of my oven, and off the shelves from Target (remember Pumpkin Spice Kisses and Kraft’s Caramel Bits that went into my delicious caramel apple cookies?) are not helping matters any. At all. I should just motivate and do something about it. But for some reason I can’t. I should dust off the treadmill. I should unfold the jogger. I have a long list of Shoulds. But I don’t.
So there we have The Battle of The Bulge. My cute pants are snug through the belly. Not so pretty. Not so comfortable. They remain piled in my closet in hopes, that like the Great Pumpkin, they will magically make an appearance.
Last winter I bought some Spanx. Some wonderful, ingenious, life altering Spanx. They flatten and lift and tighten. And they work. And they are miraculous. And I do love them. So yesterday after staring tearfully at an oh so adorable pair of jeans that I have not worn in a very long time I decided to try them on with a pair of Spanx. It was like those 10 pounds fell off faster than Samantha could have had she twitched little button nose! I had a shape. I could see hip bones — well, sorta! I pulled up my jeans and they lay flat and smooth across my midsection. I had no muffin top or Michelin tire. I was smooth and taught and flat. Jeans haven’t looked that good in a long time!
This afternoon as I was leaving school a friend of mine pulled her car over and asked me if I had lost some weight. “You look so thin!” She told me.
I smiled and said “Spanx!”