On a more personal note…

Some of you may not want to read this… or may want to shield your eyes. Some of you will think such discussion, like politics, it is all too personal. (Though clearly we have seen just how personal politics no longer is.) Some of you will pour yourselves a nice hot cup of coffee or tea, and others, like my friend Line will bring over a glass of wine… this is one topic she looooves to talk about!
My question is this, for those of you who may have some advice, is when do you find the time to… well… ehem…. you know… do what the Birds and the Bees do? Seriously? This is not a laughing matter. Ok, it is… but still I want to know! More importantly I want to hear from you moms of many children and you moms of children of various ages.
You see Don and I hardly ever see one another at all. He’s off gallivanting on business trips staying at the Hotel del Corronado in warm, sunny San Diego for the week while I stay home is cold, rainy Connecticut schlepping my Trio of Terrible Trouble all over the place… to soccer and Girl Scouts and ice skating and here, there and everywhere. Always, there is someone doesn’t want to be dragged. Always, at least two are whining. Now tell me where would you rather be?!
Don came home at 1:30 on Friday morning. (Flight got in at Hartford at 11:30 then by the time he got his suitcases and drove home it was 1:30.) I did not wait up for him! Not when I wake at 4:30 daily! We were both up early but he had to scamper off to the hospital (after 4 hours of sleep) and I had to hustle the kids off to school.
We texted each other a few times that day. Sometimes this is the only way we can really communicate… cell phones can not be used in the ORs and so we don’t often get to talk on the phone either. On the few occasions we try to have a discussion together we are certain to be interrupted by any one, or all three, of our Terrible Trio of Trouble. It’s maddening and infuriating. We live in a 4500 sq. ft. house and we can’t get away from them…
And so that brings us to our Issue at Hand… the celebration of the Birds and the Bees. With the youngest up before the sun rears her head and my middle child up so late into the night there is no peace and quiet in the house. Alexander crawls into bed at various points in the middle of the night and stays there until he wakes… and wakes me and the day begins. The rule in this house is that all children (older two) must be in their beds by 8:30 pm — the only exception being when we are home from activities too late and there is still homework to be done. On the weekends and holidays we let them stay up until 9:00, sometimes 9:30. Don is out of the house from 6:00 am until 6:00 or 7:00 pm. Then it’s dinnertime (if I am not out schlepping) and then bedtime for the kiddos… and seeing how early my days starts bedtime for me too. Unless it’s not. But then there is still Christopher, my little insomniac to deal with. He often comes wandering in (several times) because he can’t sleep and he’s miserable.
Then come the weekends we think we can get some time alone. We are seriously mistaken. While the kids seem to play well for the moment, as soon as our absence is felt all hell breaks loose… there are screams, fights, tears, or else something really, really, really important… like can they have a juice box, or a cheese stick or can they play with Play Doh or paint. Never fails. We would love to get away for the weekend but have no one to watch them… and they are just a little too young to be home by their selves!
And as I wonder how I will get some time alone with my husband before Alexander hits high school I wonder how the heck the Duggars can make so many kids in a house over-run with them!
On a final note not really related to this post I was perusing my list of readers and visitors… some use Google as their means to get here by plugging in certain words. One visitor from Lillehamher Googled “don’t get caught with your hands in her pants.” I think that visitor was rather disappointed with this blog!
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18 thoughts on “On a more personal note…

  1. We have sleepers here at the house. I suppose that makes the issue easier. There was a time when Frick would wake up in the middle of the night and wander to our bed. But even then, he would sleep until about 1 or 2am and then come in our room. I am afraid I am no help at all on this. I am interested in what everyone else says!! 🙂

  2. Send-away babysitting. We have begun sitting exchanges. We send our kids off to a friend. The following weekend, we get hers. It’s PERFECT!

  3. sorry Jess, can’t help you and i only have 2 kids. Let me (or better yet, my dh) know if you figure it out.

  4. We are in the same boat around here. We were actually just talking about this today. Maybe when our children move out (they are 2.5 and 6 months) since they REFUSE to nap at the same time. The only time they are asleep at the same time is at night and I can’t stay awake past 8PM.

  5. I am with swap sitting. Even if is just for an evening. I am lucky, Carter is here most mornings, the boys go to school 3 mornings a week. Walker has wandered in before. What about locking your door and telling them to cool it.

  6. Well it has not been an issue around here in ages. And with at least one baby in bed with me at all times (and often two), who knows when it’ll happen again. But, pre-L. we would wait until after bedtime for T. Harder with Christopher being up so late though. Maybe you need to institute Marie’s “movie night”! Put Owie to bed and let the older two stay up for a movie on a weekend night. No Owie to have to watch and if C. is occupied with a movie he won’t need you for a littel while at least. Or- you can follow my parents’ lead- they used to send us to Sunday school every week, dropped us off and then went out to breakfast- just go back home for an hour instead! LOL You get free childcare and a weekly date in! Probably not quite what the minister has in mind, but it would work! LOL

  7. Kim,
    Your send-away service… how long is it good for? I mean I don’t want a wham-bam-thank you ma’am — I’m a classy broad ain’t I?!!! And do you do this at night becuase clearly it would not be feasible during the day…

  8. Michelle, do you have any idea how romantic it is to cozy up to your husband with children pounding at your door, screaming and shouting like the house is on fire? And we can’t explain we want privacy because we do not want to explain WHY we want it! LOL

  9. Sarah… so you are telling me that Unitarian CHurches have no rules AND you can just dump the kids off??? That’s absolutely BRILLIANT!!!!

    Hey Katherine?!!! Did you see that? There is a Unitarian Church in Weston TOO!!!

  10. That is such a tough issue. I think the different bedtimes for you and your husband is what makes it the most challenging. Our kids are in bed at 7:30 and we usually go to bed at the same time (around 10 pm). Sometimes on the weekend, when the bigger 2 are watching a movie during my little ones naptime, we’ll say it is time for a shower (is it getting too racy in here?). We just lock the door. I think a babysitter is a good way to go. A little time alone is what you need to get the romance flowing!

    Jen
    http://www.ListPlanIt.com

  11. Racy is fine! Showers are good… of course the shower in the new house is the size of an airplane bathroom! Not that one needs much room in the shower! We have tried that… I can just imagine Rebecca going to school telling all her friends and teachers that mommy and daddy like to take showers together!!!

  12. We always thought my parents attended the church services while we were in Sunday school. I’m sure the Sunday school teachers thought the same thing. It was only years later that I found out they left and went out! They used to go over to the Sherwood Diner to eat and then took walks on the beach. They were so sneaky! But w/ 4 kids who could blame them?

  13. Sarah… OMG that is way too funny! Would they take all three? Wouldn’t they know the new family dropped the kids off but never attended any of the meetings… ceremonies… whatever Unitarians refer to them as!

  14. Okay, this may be TMI but we don’t get to do the deed as often as we’d like but we do manage to sneak it in a few times a week. It is tough sometimes to get some alone time. We have farmed the kids out to people. Maybe sometime you could set up playdates for all three and one at home for you and D? Lately bedtime is going well for us so we are having more couple time after the kids are asleep.

  15. My hubbie and i were just talking about this! we went away for a relaxing weekend in Newport this weekend… not so relaxing with a cranky baby and a sick toddler…
    But we also have no one to watch our children overnight… heck, a movie out is a dream!

  16. I can tell you that, I have 4 kids and thoguht it would never happen again. Now with my yougest 5, life is good again, don’t give up hope it will all come back and you won’t remember these times as vividly!!! But creativity is the best if you can think outside the box you can have a lot of fun, I should stop now before I offend anyone!

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